melancholy

I feel more and more useless everyday. I don't know why, but I feel lonely inhabiting in a population over 17 million. Everyone I usually spend time with all have things to do, all have started their lives. I have yet to do that. Where they are beginning their lives, there I am resting at an impasse. Everyone is moving around me, and I am standing still. I observe those who connect and live around me, and I am envious. I visited Pudong again today, and I was the only person who was trekking around alone. Everyone else either had fellow workers (同士), fellow students (同学), or significant others to be with them and enjoying the scenery. I immediately regretted leaving the home. All I could do was watch them develop deep feelings for those they care for, and I am here, without even direction to go to find my own.

Hopefully I'll be starting work soon, and that can take my mind off things.

Since it's the new month, I can make another flickr slideshow. Be on the lookout for that in a coupla days.